Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
