the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
