still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
