She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
