But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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