Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm too high and old for this...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
