is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Green mimosas i think yes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
