Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
