why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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