I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize