i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
