I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
