The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize