I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
