i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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