Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
