Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
