and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
