Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
