At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
love makes seman taste better
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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