I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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