Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
