Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
