You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
