im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Randomize
