can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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