I just cut my nipple shaving
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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