i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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