i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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