I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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