margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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