Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
