matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
