finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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