lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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