Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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