Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
