My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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