We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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