i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
