plz talk dirty to me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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