The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize