Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
