Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
