Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
