Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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