If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize