At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
