I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
