hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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