I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
