just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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