I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
