I'm lost and stupid without you.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
