i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize