so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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