Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We left an ass print on the piano.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
