so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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