Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
