I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We left an ass print on the piano.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
