I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have aggressive nipples.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
