i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
